So the latest MAGA spectacle of note was last week's sad pox party in Tulsa, hilariously punked by the unstoppable K-Pop/Tik-Tok axis making Donny a sad boy. Despite boasting on Twitter that "Almost One Million People" (effed capitalization 45's) had requested tickets for the event, only 6,200 actually showed.
That's still 6,200 pretty messed-up people though. I'd be
happy willing despite a fair degree of discomfort to tell you all about them. But when the news photos began popping up, showing who some of these folks actually are, I for some reason recalled an old user on mgoblog, BlueSeoul. Around 2009 or so, BlueSeoul used to post "game wraps" in which he would take screen-shots of fans in attendance and add thought bubbles showing what strange throughts must have been circulating through their skulls at particular points during the game. (I'd link one but these are, evidently, long gone). Especially with pictures being worth 1,000 per and all, seems like a valid approach for the Tulsa rally as well. So enough lame text--let's get to the images.
Okay, so first up we have this marvelous marvel, courtesy of CNN:
We'll get to the dressed-down Jim & Tammy Bakker disciples front-and-center in a moment, first let's take a look at (1) fake-hair grandpa training his vision on gump kid (2) checking out something off to the left. What do we think it is? Don't answer that. But it must be pretty exciting because at least three people are looking at it. Side note: lots of people wearing sleeves in this photo. If not for gump kid one might question whether this was really Oklahoma.
Gump kid's grandma (3) isn't looking left. She's got her head down, so could be participating in the dubiously religious exercise that seems to be afoot, but probably she's just there because gump kid begged her and now she's just gotta slog through Ann Patchett on her iPhone. I guess if you'll wear whatever fake Komen Foundation monstrosity gump kid manufactured with old skeins of pink yarn and Elmer's glue, then you can go catch 'Rona for his sake too. But it's like Marcellus told us, "fuck pride."
So, Jimmy boy (4). I mean of course he is dead center of the photo. He's undoubtedly already shared this photo multiple times on all 65 of his social media accounts to ensure that every last one of the 6,187 residents of Paul's Valley, Oklahoma, have seen it. He has surely printed and framed a copy to post at the entrance of whatever god awful megachurch he attends, where certainly he is regularly featured on screen with his inventive facial hair patterns and ostentatious over-prayer. Jesus loves you. I SAID, JESUS LOVES YOU. Say it loudly enough and you're basically a man of the cloth.
God has been good to Jimmy. His wife (5) is probably reasonably attractive when not wearing a DT shirt and undoubtedly puts up with his bullshit because obvs. Sad, really--kind of like in those shows about old medieval times when rich parents would bargain off their daughters to cement business ties or political relationships and divorce didn't really exist. She caught Jimmy, and is trying to make it work. At least he doesn't look violent.
Speaking of Elmer (6), you'd think Tulsa keeps the whole toupee industry afloat singlehanded. Or maybe this guy drove in from Lawton or some shit. Probably had the windows open all three hours on I-44. That or it's the real deal and he's just rocking the Covid cut. Now that would be a happy accident. Would.
No. 7 (7) has no such problems. Perfect hair, and blonde to boot. I'd say that's obviously what the young lady furiously clutching No. 7's right arm is attracted to, but perhaps it's his profound wisdom and clear Christian values. Yes, that must be it. Following in the footsteps of Jimmy.
Not sure on Elmer's wife (8). Do they make toupees for the ladies? Yes, I know about wigs. But a wig is an attractive hair pieces--not some hideous rugs you wear just because it looks natural on your head. That's obviously not a wig. But it can't be her real hair. I mean, that just can't be. Estoy confuso. The whole "big hair" thing ended almost 30 years ago and ..... wait a minute 😯😯
Alright, I should probably just shut up and post photos. Here's the rest of them.